Concealed Affliction

Ryder has done his best to break my armor. Its been a slow process but hes reminded me what its like to feel again. I could never thank him enough for the toe curling and life altering experiences. Hes been my light in a hurricane-but even I know the sun cant shine all the time. I have a big decision to make and its not as simple as just going left or right, forward or backward. Ive heard people say that when we hit a crossroad in life, the only difference is that one way is longer than the other. (Believe me when I say that these people are full of shit-dont listen to them.) Ive hit every fucking intersection from Canada to the USofA and no matter what direction I take, the distance is always the same. The reason for this is because its not about the distance, its about the outcome of the journey. This journey of mine only leaves me two choices and neither satisfy me. Do I continue on my path towards retribution for my family? Or do I focus on the first man [...]to crack my ice cold heart? Hes the only man who has ever made me feel safe at night; the first to truly accept all of me- scars included. Im at a crossroad and no matter which way I turn, Im fucked. Ryder or retribution? This life of mine isnt a fairytale- I know I cant have both.