Refusing Mr. Collins: A Pride and Prejudice Possibility

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that while a man in possession of a fortune may be in want of a wife, there may be ladies who do not reciprocate. This may be especially so when the man in question not only possesses the rightful inheritance of said ladies, but is also of a most odious disposition and less than agreeable in appearance. Such was the lot of five young women near the town of Meryton. Not only had they no fortune, their own father, an absentee parent at best, had not the foresight to put aside a single pound should they not have the opportunity marry. For this sole reason, their overbearing mother deemed it necessary for one of her daughters to marry this impossible man. However, a mother’s best laid plans cannot come to pass if the gentleman in question is not only repulsive, but also very, very dead. Desperate times often call for desperate measures. There is a myriad of ways to dispose of an unwanted suitor, all of which may be deemed accidental, for who would ever accuse a young lady of good family? The answer is simple… no one. However, some persons are as extremely difficult to be rid as they are to tolerate in life. The Reverend Mr. Collins, despite his obvious deficiencies when it came to appearance and personality, has an uncanny knack for staying alive but, where there is a will, there is always a way…